From: grady@nospam.tidepool.com (Grady Ward)
Subject: David Miscavige eats wog shit
Date: 1997/03/21



David Miscavige's escapades into the world of coprophagia are legendary.

One story is that David got hooked as a boy with the chore of cleaning the
cat box at his mother's house. The more he learned that cats were "degraded
beings" in the cant of scientology, the more his paradoxical fascination
with the clumps of desiccated shit he had to toss away away week.

At first the sharp odor of ammonia was overpowering. With practice David
began to look forward to the pungent sting as he first uncapped the loaded
box.

"Cat wasabi," he was known to remark later.

It was just a matter of time until he tried a piece.

At first he just carried it in his mouth until it dissolved. One piece a
week was all he dared. In the first few months several times he regretted
his perversion and would wash his mouth out with soap his mom kept at the
sink for dishes. Like a regretful bulemic he would wash and scrub his
mouth, brush and floss over and over until he it hurt to eat in order to
kill the taste (probably imagined) of the cat shit.

But as time went on he would pop several and his mouth and invariably --
though intending to let slowly dissolve -- could not help himself from
biting and gulping down the turds, gagging a little at the sharp flecks of
cat box litter inlaid on the eggs like jagged smalto in a religious mosaic.

The vileness of his habit entranced him.. He could being to divine the diet
and health of the cat by the flavor and "mouth" of the excrement. The
ascaris infestation was obvious, for he would have to gag down the
connected turds like pearls on a string. The diarrheas and occult bleedings
were also instantly obvious to his trained and meticulous palate.

Even as the cat tottered and barely could drop its constipated droppings
strongly flavored with deep ochre urine, David Miscavige kept at his habit.

 He would begin comb the garbage for treasures that he had missed in
previous cleanings of the box, and even watch for his neighbor's old tom to
squat so he could get a warm one with the tapeworm segments still thrashing
in the air.

#

As Chaiman of the Board of Religious Technology Center, David Miscavige was
now the most powerful person in the criminal cult of scientology. He was a
scientologist true bred and pure.

He had kept his affinity for eating shit as well, although he had graduated
to the most risky and exciting kind of human shit. Rumors abound that he
would try to give his underlings like Warren McShane ulcers just so he
could savor the metallic flavor of their black mealy shit. Others said he
would scan the PC folders for parishioners with Crone's disease or medical
problems that would manifest itself metabolically.

At first he would trick the prospective source of his depraved habit to
cruise with him for a day or two, or spend a weekend in his motor home.

These excusions were chosen, of course, because they would store the body
wastes in a collection bag that David labeled and changed as frequently as
necessary to preserve the proper ageing and nuance of his current shit
provider's offerings.

Later, Miscavige became indiscriminate, ordering that strangers "shit on
his face" or "dump on David!." He ordered the Church of Spritual Technology
to preserve particularly memorable samples of excrement in the holy bunkers
"along with the rest of the shit" he would say.

He would push himself past strangers in public buildings to get into their
stall before they could flush. "Problem with the toilet," he growled. His
victims were more than glad to get this strange odorous man out of their
sight.

In the 1990's his gross vice was an open secret at Flag. No one would dare
shit using Flag toilets. People would studiously avoid the scatological
jibes were common references to the wogs at the outlying missions. The
attorneys had to keep him out of depositions -- not because of an
inadvertent truth he might tell about the criminal cult -- but because he
smelled like shit, and his very teeth had shit on them from a paper bag he
constantly munched from. Christ, he would tear the colostomy bag off of you
and squeeze it with all his might over his face and into his mouth if he
suspected your secret.

And it was the attorneys who first notice that David Miscavige was getting
huge erections when he was flushed with a new stripe of shit. The stories
of involuntary sodomy on alt.religion.scientology would excite him and he
would put his own lubricate fingers up his own ass looking --- for what?


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